On the run: Topsail, North Carolina

Reflections on places and people that are special to us

I’m back after some time off for vacation with family and friends to Topsail, North Carolina (or should I say Tops’l? Three visits basically make me a local). Fun was had, the sun rays were soaked, and a run was ran. Topsail has quickly become one of my favorite vacation spots. It’s the perfect mix of seclusion and minimal tourist traps, especially if you stay on the north end, which we have done on each of our visits.

It’s easy to romanticize beach vacations. They provide a break from the busyness of work emails and social obligations. The constant sound of the waves provides a din that drowns out distractions and supplies calmness. It provides an opportunity to connect with family and friends, while building stronger bonds and creating memories out of simple activities like a game of catch on the beach, walks along the water, or a drink accompanied by good conversation. The beach makes a strong case for slowing things down, and letting the hours creep by while you admire the ocean in front of you. We could all stand to remind ourselves of that every once in a while, and each time I visit I am reminded about how sometimes the simplest things in life are the best.

Topsail still feels like a secret location, even after several visits and a noticeable uptick in new houses for beachgoers to rent on their stay. Luckily that has been mostly on the south side of the island near Surf City, while the north end looks mostly the same as my first visit. With virtually no shops or restaurants, you can easily escape from civilization after making the necessary trips for food and other supplies, disappearing into your section of the coast for the week. The beach is spread out enough that it feels like it’s your beach alone. One strip of road leads to the tip of the island and only veers off to driveways and occasional mini side streets.

This thin strip means that if you’re a runner staying in the north and take off for a morning run, as I did on the Tuesday of our trip, you will share the road, and occasionally have to run in the sandy brims of the road as traffic passes. I’ll admit the area isn’t the most runner-friendly, yet still provides enough asphalt and distance to stretch the legs. Luckily, with no training plan to follow or any schedule for the day, I could just go for a simple run. It provided a good chance to soak up the area I love, run past places we’ve stayed in the past, move a bit after a few weeks of very little running, and have some peaceful time to reflect.

Travel has been a major focus of our family in the last few years. We’ve seen National Parks, visited beaches, and stayed in states I normally would have never thought of staying in (I’m looking at you, West Virginia. My opinion of you is changing.) All of these places are special in their own specific way. They offer unique views and play unique roles in our environment and the American story. But nothing quite captures the feeling I get when I visit Topsail. I have an intense sense of anticipation in the weeks leading up to a trip. Staying there provides a sense of calm that I don’t get anywhere else, and it seems as if the ocean restores me. I’m sad leaving, knowing that life goes from slow back to warp speed.

There are other places I’ve been to that provide similar feelings, but I caught myself wondering what it was about this specific place that made me love it so much. Besides the natural wonder and power of the ocean, I think it’s become more powerful and meaningful when I place our visits here into the context of my family’s lives. Our first visit to Topsail was in the fall of 2020, during personal and professional upheaval. COVID-19 threw everything for a loop, and we had just had our second daughter. I also was going through a professional crisis, leaving my employer to try doing my own thing for a while. Amongst all of that change and uncertainty, staying on Topsail for a week seemed to make all of those things disappear for a few days. Any concerns were put on hold for more important things, like building a sandcastle or swimming in the ocean. It offered perspective on the things that are truly important in life. While my wife and I have done a lot of work on who we are as people and as a couple, I think that first trip set a foundation for life in our thirties. We have much more clarity on what is important, and the things that bring us happiness. And while the beaches have been there long before our visit, they have meant just a bit more since. After that initial visit, each return has been about revisiting those feelings for ourselves and sharing it with people we love to hopefully give them a small taste. I ran past the condos we stayed in before this visit, thinking about those trips and how our lives have changed each time. I can connect the place with each chapter we write.

This year we had to upsize, vacationing with two couples we’ve known from college and their families, which makes me feel old, grateful, and all sorts of emotions as I write it. While calm is certainly a relative term with three families and six children under the age of 8 staying in the same house, it was another chapter in how this place has added richness to my life.

Getting older is a raw deal. And among all the things that come with it, I think the most unsettling aspect is the loneliness that comes with age. Friends that we were close with in younger years get jobs, move away, and have families of their own and with responsibilities of adulthood take time away. After a while, keeping up with friends becomes something you do exclusively on social media or occasional texts. Loneliness is a major mental health issue amongst the entire population, but I think can be extremely hard on young adults trying to figure out how to navigate adulthood, professional challenges, and major changes for the first time. Luckily, my wife and I have had a core group to lean on and go through life’s challenges with. Having a group to lean on as you learn to parent, grow as a professional, and deal with the realities of growing up is such an advantage. And those relationships are something I’m grateful for. But after years of friendship, this was our first vacation together. Introducing them to Topsail was a success, full of memories, fun, and plenty of good conversation. It wasn’t much different than every time we gather. The only difference was the sand and the ocean.

Beer Me!

A staple of any trip is trying the local brews in any place we travel, and our trip to Topsail was no different. I’m going to try and capture some of my favorites here when I post about our adventures. We tried several beers from the Topsail and Wilmington, NC areas. My favorite was Hay-Zay, a hazy IPA from Salty Turtle Beer Co. Here’s 5 to try if you’re ever in the area:

• Tropical Lightning (West Coast IPA) - Wilmington Brewing Company - Wilmington, NC

• Hay-Zay (Hazy IPA) - Salty Turtle Brewing Co. - Surf City, NC

• Coastline Kolsch (Kolsch) - Salty Turtle Brewing Co. - Surf City, NC

• Port City IPA (IPA) - Front Street Brewery - Wilmington, NC

• Betio (Blonde Ale, Mrs. Boron Approved!) - Salty Turtle Beer Co. - Surf City, NC